There once was a great empire, and if I'm not mistaken it still exists today
in all its glory free from the oppression it once faced. This is the tale of
a great leader, a quest for freedom, silliness, and other bits. Of course as
wonderful as it sounds, it started in, of all places, a forum. A meeting
place for people loony enough to decide to come there. The common bond was
Python and it was a strong one. Well, as we all adjusted our spam canisters,
chicken screamed, confused our cats, and silly walked we found in our midst
the presence of a great leader.
Yes, a leader. Someone who could lead us Gumbies into a world of pure
silliness by banishing Pointed Sticks, freeing the world from purple skewers
disease, throwing about bananas, and only letting Gumbies carry pineapples.
Yes, this was a perfect plan. It was on the 4th day of the 7th month of the
999th year of 1000, that one poet did write about the Mighty POLLGE for the
first noticable time. Many others agreed with the message the poem sent and
so the POLLGE campaign was born.
With no visible opposition POLLGE decided her large cabinet of followers.
Yes, a mighty wooden cabinet built of the finest in Norwegian wood. It stood
over 12 feet tall, had 6 finely cut shelves for storage, and was 8 feet
long. This cabinet stood on the finest in brick design carpeting, surrounded
by Pythonic statues, bits of leftover operations, and what looked like 17
half dead rats. Of course, if one looks closely the rats, when arranged in a
certain position appear to look exactly like the moon on a cloudy night in
October, yet this is only if you squint your eyes. Really, you have to have
a look at it. Oh, where was I... The cabinet. Its a splendid piece of
woodwork. Oh, I seem to have strayed from my original intention.
Right, the cabinet Pollge created had many members. Due to the loyalty to
Pollge, many of the cabinet members took apon the last name of Loony Gumby
Esq. forever ingrading their loyalty to the Mighty Pollge. Many naked --- er
I mean... I'll start again. Many Ministry meetings passed filled with
str---- wait, hold on a minute. Alright, I've got it. Many Ministry meetings
passed throughout time. The ministry had aquired a rather large office
building. Actually it was more of a bungalow, which didn't do well for the
minister of running upstairs two at a time, flinging open the door and
saying "ha, ha caught you mildred." However, rather large office building
sounds alot better in this sort of writing.
Funds were limited. Most funds went to the numerous amounts of Pythonic
statues in various offices of those obsessed. To get some extra funds the
Minister of War, unqualified, and the Dr. Col took out the bits, tennis
rackets, and old music albums from patients afflicted with P.S. Disease.
However, the funds continued to fly out the window and onto some unknown
executive's desk.
The Mighty POLLGE went on holiday for a fortnight (using words I am, Algy)
left a loony person in charge. During this time anger flared at an
oppressive M-pire. And so they all boarded the mighty ship Loony Bits with
its high flags flying and the smell of rotten seaweed filling the air. In
the middle of dark and hot summer nights and at the same time cold winter
ones in other countries, the ministry members plotted a mutiny in the ship's
boiling room as the deck of the ship had been taken over by the crimson
permenant assurance due to rental services because of the lack of funds in
the ministry treasury.
They plotted and sang ballads of lunacy during the day, the night, and both at the same time. Messages in bottles were of anger, and commonly smashed against the wall, or had scribes copy them into thousands and nail them up on all the port city bulliton boards. Their weapons were humility, humour, and a lack of caring exactly what the M-pire's leader did to them. Their reasons were anger, silliness, and the right to prove their existance. Even so the ministry needed the money, and the bits of a leader of an M-pire can go for millions these days. Millions of dead rats. Oh the moon collages that could make.
Many ministry members fought valiantly, and others just watched. Yet there
was one so lucky as to be the first to get stabbed with a pineapple-ka-bob.
This was the Col. There was not one who wouldn't be stabbed with a
pineapple-ka-bob also. Oh wait. There is ONE. But many requested to be
stabbed too. And with their wounds they chicken screamed onto the deck of
the ship loony bits, and claimed a new forum as their own in which they
would reak havoc until far past this day of me telling you this.
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